What does it mean to heal? Let's start with what it doesn't mean- It doesn't mean forgetting the lessons, the loss, or the trauma, which is why you are grieving. It doesn't mean ignoring your child, parent, spouse, friend, or pet. It does mean is that you are in the acceptance stage of grief. Those five stages of grief seem so straight-lined and in order. They are not that way in any manner. They are stages of a roller coaster ride totally out of our control in what stage comes first. Everyone's circumstances are different. Nothing is the same in grief. On the other hand, healing is a healthy way of coping with the tremendous suffering that we feel. It's accepting the loss and the new you.
After months of losing my son, I realized the old me was gone too, the happy, funny, cheerful me. She has been gone for almost ten years, and I am still figuring out who the new me is, who she will be and how she will live through her loss in the most healthy way. Mother2Mother support group, and my role as a Program Manager for Zero Youth Violence and Reentry with Promise Neighborhoods of the Lehigh Valley, have helped me embrace the "new" me. I have found my purpose.
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